Unable to save everyone

As I was in the teacher's lounge in one of the schools where my subbing assignment was held, I did some thinking and reflecting on all I will face as a teacher in an inner-city school. Believe me, it was not easy thinking about it, but it had to have been thought of at some point. I will have to end up being not only an teacher, but a mentor, some sort of a personal coach, counselor, and a mediator all in one. In this type of an environment, lives and hope can easily be lost, especially early.

I volunteer once as week in this youth education center affiliated with Volunteers of America. I must say, it is one of the BEST experiences I am having at this time. This center is located in a rough area of Columbus, and it gets scary knowing that I may have to watch my back even more when I'm there. Whenever, I feel that way, I think of the kids I will be tutoring and coaching. It puts a huge grin on my face, because I enjoy their company so much and they seem so happy despite what they might be going through at home. These are the type of kids I want to teach in the long run, but I know that I may not be able to save all of them from their environments. Why? Well, kids grow into adults and make either wise or stupid decisions. That is the very sad reality of it, but why let it discourage me? If I can save a few at least, I will know I'm doing my job. The bright side of it all is that the ones I save will be able to save others as they become older and wiser. It will be a very healthy cycle once started.

Another aspect of all of this is that I refuse to tolerate and worry about the grown folks who take pride in being ignorant and having that adolescent mentality. I've grown extremely tired of that type of person. I noticed that those who have good hearts want to save them, but honestly, they are wasting their time if the person they are helping refuses to wise up. Now if they choose to get themselves together, it's okay to help them, but they have to REALLY want it and follow through with it. I can only focus on me and put my right foot down. Whatever I do wrong, I own up and fix it. As for the young and the dumb, I will pour out my passion since they have plenty of room to grow and learn.

I'm very happy to have developed this huge interest in the well-being of others for a change. The old Marilyn would not have thought this way and it took her losing a bit of herself to find another passion. I will continue to keep this particular blog in mind if any feeling of doubt tries to approach me or any other educator. Going into this profession has helped me to develop a high respect and gratitude for the teachers who put up with me. I sincerely thank ALL of them.